Telthorst.net

I’m a college student, which means I don’t have a full time job, I don’t have any money, and I have some sizable student loans.  However, all that is going to change, at least the part about not having any money.  Sure, I’ve heard people say, “if something is too good to be true, it probably is,” but that was before the interwebs.  I’ve recently gotten two great e-mails that I know are going to set me up for life!

Last month, I got this e-mail from Mr. Vincent Cheng, the Chairmain of the Hong Kong and Shanghai Banking Corporation Limited.  He sent me a confidential brief, which I’ve included below:

I followed up with Mr. Cheng, and apparently I just needed to help with a legal bank transfer of 30.5 million dollars and would get to keep 60% of the funds!  I told him I was extremely interested in helping, and would do whatever he wanted.  I also told him that I didn’t need 60% of 30.5 million, I only wanted $30,000, and to be considered for an entry level postion at the Hong Kong and Shangahi Banking Corporation Limited.  But for some reason after I e-mailed him with that request, he never got back to me.  I can’t figure out why, I guess because I didn’t want 60% of the money and he was insulted?  I was disappointed at first, until I got another e-mail, and this one is even better!  A copy of it can be found below:

More than $1.7 billion is a lot more than 60% of 30.5 million!  I just need to apply before the 27th of October and I’ll be set.  I’m going to take whatever they offer me this time, because I learned from last time, that people who are going to give you millions of dollars don’t want you to work for them, or have you take less than they offer, they just want you to keep the money.  I’ll let you know how it goes, and if I have time, I’ll have the butler I’m going to hire take a picture of the yacht I’m going to buy!

*This is a satirical post.*

I don’t actually think that these offers will make me rich.  I did e-mail “Mr. Cheng” to see what would happen.