One wonders how the same person that made Indiana Jones and the Raiders of the Lost Ark, Star Wars: A New Hope, The Empire Strikes Back, or the beginning of Return of the Jedi, also made the fourth Indiana Jones film or the Star Wars prequels?

Apparently when George saw something standing in front of a blue wall, he grabbed the nearest camera and yelled "action!"

After much thought, reflection, and study of the films, the answer came to me.  Some time during the filming of Return of the Jedi, about the time George decided that a bunch of hobbit-sized teddy bears could defeat what the Emperor calls, “An entire legion of my best troops,” George Lucas suffered from some type mental or nervous breakdown.  I mean honestly, were the hobbit-polar bears what Han and Luke were looking for when they were riding around on tauntuans in the beginning of The Empire Strikes Back?  If only the Rebel troops had rocks and sticks on Hoth, the Empire never would have won that battle. But I digress into nerddom.  Whatever happened, George was reduced to an empty shell of the filmmaker he once was.

To help visualize the downfall of George Lucas, I’ve created a “Lucasfilm Timeline.”  We can see that at some point, during the filming of Return of the Jedi, Lucas went senile.  There are unconfirmed reports that while on set he threw out the original Return of the Jedi script, the script that didn’t involve an absurd and unbelievable defeat of the empire, and decided instead to rely on his “imagination.” At this point it’s clear that he never used a script again, and the voices in his head his imagination led him to the Teddy Bear (Ewoks) idea.  Perhaps the Ewok concept came to him because he’d recently seen a “build-a-bear” commercial on TV and thought they were awesome.  Some close to him claim that George was having recurring nightmares about his wife dying and was led to believe the only way to save her was to start making horrible films.

Tired of disappointments, I’m now resolved not to watch any post-breakdown Lucas “films” again.  The fact is, “the man once was a filmaker, but lost his abilites a long time ago in a galaxy far, far away.”¹  I never saw Indiana Jones and the Lining of the Pocketbook Kingdom of the Crystal Skull, and I never intend to.  George Lucas will never get another cent of my money for his silly “films.”  At any rate, we aught pity George’s unfortunate condition (not too much since he’s filthy rich).  It is sad to think what he might have created if he had not suffered a nervous breakdown, but we still have the first Indiana Jones film, as well as 2.75 decent Star Wars movies.

1. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lv4Potdpjhw